Funerals

I find that I am getting to the point in life when I am attending more and more funerals. It wasn't totally unexpected, seeing how I am on the downslide between 55 and 60... my turn is coming, but hopefully not next.

A few years back I recall my mother commenting on her realization that all of the older people were passing away and how she was now one of the older people herself. And so the passage of time evolves and the responsibility of being a mourner at someone's funeral is handed from one generation to the next.

For the most part, I find that attending funerals can be an educational experience as well as a great place to meet people. For instance, last weekend the Lovely Miss Carol and I drove down to Belton, Texas for the funeral of her 101 year old grandmother, Elta Mints. I had met the woman several times in the past three years that I have been associating with the Lovely Miss Carol and came to several conclusions about her based in large part about stories told about her.

For one, the woman had a wicked sense of humor. Think what you will about people born in the first decade or so of the last century, more than one had a wicked sense of humor. My Aunt Sara had that same gift. My understanding was that Sara had various 'phases'... if something caught her fancy, she would involve everyone surrounding her with whatever the phase of the moment was. Her love of involvement was something I learned about at her funeral. Sara's 'castinet' phase came up for some reason and I found myself vaguely recalling my sisters recieving castinets one Christmas from my Aunt Sara.

The other fact I learned about the grandmother was that she had apparently eloped(!) with her husband of over 50 years. What an impetuous thing to do! Given a few more years I might have found out about the elopement, but alas, time had caught up with the grand old woman.

She must have been something in her day - a fact further confirmed by the leaflet handed out at the service by the funeral director featuring the late Mrs. Mints in a sepia tone photograph in what could only be described these days as a "Glamor Shot".

I learned a lot about the newly departed at this funeral and about the dearly departed at other funerals I have attended over the years. While the last few months or years may not have been so pleasant for the the guest of honor, they had lives and loves, good times and bad times of their own which helped to bouy their spirits when they were attending funerals as mourners themselves.

It's one of those 'triumphs of the human spirit' things which tie us all together.

In our mourning, we find ways of binding which help us out of the valley of despair and into a new understanding of our friends and families. When my Aunt Sara passed, I got re-acquainted with cousins, first and second, whom I had not seen for years. This time out, I was introduced to a new brother-in-law, his lovely wife and their two children... and had opened a window into my own wife's soul which had not been previously opened (one of those tricks played by a younger brother things which seemed ghastly at the time, but when retold becomes funny).

I have come to the point where I tolerate funerals, and perhaps even enjoy some because of what I can learn about families and the person who has just shuffled off this mortal coil. When my time comes, I hope that those in attendance will find out something about me which will make them smile or meet someone who they may have heard about but never had the pleasure to have met. It will have made the whole show worthwhile.

By the way, use the photo of me with my head in the dinosaur's mouth. I would love it if even just one person has a laugh at my expense...

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